Just Dubbled Faced
by Hitsuji Kinno
Summary: Visiting Mamoru in the United States, Usagi makes a stopover in LA and encounters a strange yet familiar blonde haired girl. A simple conversation in a café leads to surprising revelations. Parody of fan fiction too.


Created: 7/31/06

The misspelling of the title is deliberate. It's a pun on double and dubbed as well as an additional inside joke attached which will make sense once you read this fic.

Thanks goes to Prometheus Firebringer for Betaing this story for me and brainstorming the general idea with me. He also gave me the summary so it doesn't suck. When in doubt ask a friend they'll help you in the end.

I will not claim this is my first fic--it is not my first nor last fic on this planet. I will not ask you to read and review, because I obviously did not write this to be popular. I will not call this fic bad, but I will let you evaluate it on your own. And I don't think the summary sucks. I won't tell you how to read the story with grammar marks either, so without further ado, I present you the most important thing on this page, the story.

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Usagi sighed after her long and trying year. Mamoru has gone off to Harvard as part of the program, and she'd visited him in Boston, but had a stopover in LA with time to explore the city. During this time she'd met a girl that looked pretty much like her. However, this girls's troubles were far deeper than Usagi first thought. When she'd first met Serena, she was sure she was a doppleganger from another planet, but as they hung out together, Usagi quickly realized that her problems were half the problems of this girl. They'd met in a cafe with a paid translator so they could understand each other better since neither of them knew the other person's language that well.

While Usagi had defeated Galaxia, and she'd remet her long time love Mamoru and kissed romantically under the moonlight, poor Serena was still battling monsters. She was fighting a general named Zoycite who was a female with an awful laugh. Somehow this struck Usagi as familiar, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

What struck Usagi was that Serena had also met Seiya, Rei, Ami in the last year and had the roughest time in her life. As the translator related the story, the translator was either really laughing or crying--Usagi couldn't determine which.

Drinking a strange green soda, and wearing blonde ponytails and buns, just like Usagi, Serena also had a younger brother. She was bereft as Usagi found out visiting LA.

"It's not so much that he cheated with Raye, it's that they all abandoned me."

Usagi didn't know whether to feel sorry for the girl or entirely unsympathetic.

"See, I met this guy named Seiya and he swept me off my feet. He is like SOOOO hot!" Serena said blushing in a rainbow of crimson.

As the translator tried to struggle with this, it came out as "Kakoiiiii!" on Usagi's end.

"Why did you cheat on Darien though?" Usagi asked the other blonde girl trying to struggle with her understanding of English. Usagi could never cheat on Mamoru. They'd been through far too much.

"Like, that's so easy! Didn't you hear me? He's soooo HOT. I mean like so cool and he's a rock star."

The Seiya that Usagi knew wasn't this type of person to go about and forsake all duty to run after and ruin the future of an entire planet due to romantic intentions. The Seiya she knew deeply loved the princess of Kimokusei--not in that romantic way, but in that deep sense of duty and would never leave her side for anything. They'd long reconciled this fact. However, Usagi wondered in a slim chance if this Seiya that Serena talked about was the same one.

Usagi, somewhat impatient with this super vapid person in front of her let the girl continue. Usagi had time to mature. She was on her way back to Tokyo from visiting Mamoru at Harvard since he'd decided to go back. However, she'd decided to visit LA for a little while when she ran into this run away girl that looked strikingly like her.

"So seeeeee... after I ran off with Seiya the scouts they all betrayed me."

This brought up images of American girl scouts in uniforms selling cookies door to door. Combined with a Sailor collar bought up funny images into Usagi's head, but she resisted laughing at the younger girl.

"But I have the Empyrean Silver Crystal--or is it the Silver Empyrean Crystal--whatever." The girl said not really caring.

Usagi assumed this was the girls's starseed.

"So I like totally tried to zap the hell out of Raye for betraying me, but she and Darien ended up in bed together. I like saw the whole thing. My skin was burning."

Usagi rather wondered if this girl had ever experienced what it felt like to have your skin burn. But the translator could also be wrong. Minako had warned her about that.

"But I missed and hit Amara. She turned into a he! She's totally a man now so that thing she's having with Michelle isn't so wrong."

Usagi blinked. But weren't Amara and Michelle cousins?

"She changed her name to Butch and thanked me," Serena said flippantly.

Usagi slowly bit into her doughnut which oddly looked like nikuman to her. Usagi missed the Japanese health drinks, but Serena didn't know where Little Tokyo or Little Osaka was in LA at all though she'd gone to LA to learn Japanese.

As the translator finished Usagi for the first time in her life spat out her doughnut in utter horror.

"She was meant to be a man anyhow since she's gay, you see. He's very happy with his girlfriend Michelle. Michelle is pregnant too. He was a Prince in a past life."

Usagi felt herself gag and cough. The thought of marrying one's own first cousin just wasn't feasible.

"But my daughter from the future Rini and this girl named Hotaru seem to really like each other. I think they are a couple. When they are older, I think I may give them that choice to become a guy. I'm not sure which one, but I think it has to be Hotaru."

Usagi's jaw dropped. Hotaru and Chibiusa in Japan were good friends, and they were at best 8 years old--granted Chibiusa had left for the future and Hotaru occasionally missed Chibiusa, but it wasn't like _that_.

Usagi's mouth flapped for a second. Serena took that as a response for her to continue which Usagi quickly saw as a horror story.

"So yeah, I ran away, but could you tell me how do I tell which guy is the father? Seiya or Mamoru? I'm not sure."

This was almost enough to make both the translator and Usagi faint simultaneously. The truth was in Japan there were no real limitations to abortions. Usagi wouldn't be caught dead pregnant in the classroom, even at 16 years old. It would end her future. She had the assurance that Chibiusa was years and years down the road, but this young teenager at 15 years old... her kohai had done something like that? What kind of loose morals did this girl have? Usagi hadn't even suggested sex until she had gotten into high school and even that had patiently waited to discuss it with Mamoru--granted he was possessed by Nehelenia at the time, but that didn't seem to matter.

It was the final sentence that made Usagi bolt out of that restaurant and never want to talk to Serena ever again dragging her translator behind her with a big read face. This made her conclude that though they looked alike that they were nothing alike at all.

"I'm bored, want to sleep together? After having Seiya, I'm kind of interested in exploring my options."

Serena saw nothing wrong with the statement and reguarded her leaving companion with the leaving translator as strange. Everyone did it so why not her? She had met this foreign exchange student named Sel Finsert who had told her there was nothing wrong with this and praised her for her courage to be different and mxing things up in her life (though this was obviously contradictory, Serena did not realize this). She finished the doughnuts and decided to order a pizza and a chocolate parfait while finishing reading her Bible. Everyone needed religion in their lives and Serena felt that the first thing she should do when she got back was to convert Raye was the first step towards salvation.

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And yes, this was a parody... but not aimed at one individual.

Like it hate it, I want reviews with some content. Tell me what you liked or disliked about the story, and most importantly why. Critique Tolerance 10 (burn me like a witch). Thank you.


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